a declaration

2 weeks before I delivered Jayne

Today I am a little over 4 months postpartum. I have an amazingly vibrant daughter to show for it...and it was all more than worth gaining 55 lbs. With that said...I'm really ready to get my body back. So today, I'm making a declaration to myself. By May 1st I will be toned, healthy, and back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I will do it by eating more veggies, juicing, eating balanced meals, and working out five days a week. I will keep track of my progress and hold myself accountable. I had to say this out loud  or rather in blog world so it was real. So here it goes. 

Okay, I know Jaynie is covering me...but hey I'm rarely in front of the camera these days.

Today I am 138.2 lbs. Exactly 10 lbs away from pre-pregnancy weight. 

Right before I got pregnant 

Let do this! 

balancing act

photo source

This whole parenting|career thing is tricky. It's constantly a work in progress to make sure there is a balance in it all. 

Last night I quit my job. SCARY. I quit my job.

 I worked for a great company. I worked full time from home. I started working here when Nash was about three months. At that point, I was able to work with him around- playing under his mat, in his swing, in my arms, heck sometimes even on my boob. It worked. As he got a bit older, my mom (the savior I told you about) would come up to our house and scoop up our sweet little man and take him out on their own adventures. This gave me ample time to make calls and speak with clients. I pretty much rocked at it. 

Things are different now. We are a family of four. With Jayne getting older, I am starting to need help with her. I cannot work when she is awake. I want to play, laugh, cuddle and just be with her. I can't pay someone to come watch her. I just won't do it. It doesn't work financially, as I would be literally only be working to have someone else watch my babies. Most of all, it's not what I know in my heart I want to be doing. Babies are only babies for a short time. 

As moms, we rarely stop and do things for ourselves. We are so consumed with making others happy, and helping others first, that sometimes we forget that we need to take care of ourselves too. I know nothing is forever. I will not be at home with them forever. I know that I want a career. But right now my calling is with my babes. 

So I did it. I made a choice that I know is best for our family. I'm not sure how this whole "stay at home mom" thing works. But I'm going to find out. 

Cheers to doing something for me! 

Going "home"

So, it's kind of funny...Since the day I moved here, I've wanted to visit "home." 

I wanted to feel the warm sunshine wash across my face and breath in the salty ocean air. I needed to have an ABC omelet and a chai tea latte at Honey's on the 101, and meander through Anthro. I desperately needed to stroll the beach, and feel sand between my toes. I craved Rico's breakfast burritos, I swear I even dreamed of them- I had to have one stat. I wanted to spontaneously drive the ten minutes to my parents house to eat dinner and watch American Idol.  I needed all these things. 

Well, last month I decided to actually do it. Nash, Jayne and I packed up our things and headed west to California. We couldn't have been more excited! Nash was constantly talking about the beach (because he had heard me speak of it so many times) and how he wanted to see "Nema, Gpa, Auntie B and Unk C!!!!" 

We spent a little over three weeks there. We stayed with Nema, Gpa and Auntie B. Shall I say we invaded their home and basically took over with all of our stuff. They didn't mind. They wanted us there as badly as we wanted to be there. 

We did the things I had been longing to do. Although twas' a little different than I had imagined with two babies! We decided to do the fun stuff, like visit a bajillion parks, hang out at Legoland, visit the animals at Safari Park, run around at the beach, eat delicious Mexican food and spend lots of time with the people we love.

The notion of "home" is quite different when you don't actually live there anymore. Something doesn't feel right being there as a visitor. Something was definitely missing. It was actually a hard pill to swallow. I wanted so badly to feel like I was where I belonged, but it just wasn't happening. Please, don't get me wrong, I was over the moon to be there and see my family, but it just wasn't the same. Going there made me realize how I am totally okay with being here. I missed my home, my friends, and Mr.G. I missed all the things that make something a home. It's not necessarily a location...It's where you've set up shop as a family. 

San Diego will always be my home in the sense that it's where I came from, where my roots are. But with Army life, home will be many places. It will be where we all lay our heads at night, where we gather around the table for early morning breakfasts, where we will whisper secrets, tell jokes and laugh together, where we will all be supportive of each others ambitions. I am no longer aching to get away. I am so grateful that I am now at peace with being in my home. 

Here, with my family, in Alabama. 

welcome.

The house is quiet. Our sweet babies are fast asleep, each snuggled in their beds. 

This is my time.

Ordinarily, these thoughts would stay cooped up in my mind, randomly filed away among the 'to do' lists and future plans. Quite frankly, these thoughts deserve to be documented memories. Hence, this lovely creation.

Here I will humbly put our amazing adventures on display. 

Welcome.

Come on in and stay awhile.

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